I'm pretty ridiculous sometimes.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to go for a swim at the hotel pool while I'm on a road trip for work.
Of course I had to complicate things.
The sky was an enormous swath of pregnant gray clouds so I sat by the pool with a book, feeling apprehensive about getting in the pool.
I worried that my book, towel and shoes would get wet if it started raining while I was in the pool. I alternated between reading a few sentences and looking longingly at the pool as if something other than my own thoughts was stopping me from enjoying myself.
I LOVE to swim - so the fact that I was throwing away a perfectly good opportunity to do it should give you an idea of how unnecessarily messy I make my life when I start overthinking.
I kept this up for almost an hour while clinging to the fear that a mighty torrential rain would thunder down mercilessly from the heavens as soon as I got in.
Meanwhile, I had already missed an hour that I could have been swimming!
I finally walked over and sat down to put my feet in. The water welcomed me with its perfect temperature and mocked the asinine battle raging in my head.
I looked up at the clouds, then back at the pool and all of a sudden I felt ridiculous.
I actually said out loud: "It'll rain or it won't."
Then I peeled off my shirt without concern for the consequences and slipped soothingly into aquatic bliss. I swam laps and did underwater somersaults and frolicked like a little kid.
I floated face up and stared at that big gray sky and said: "Wow. I'm in a pool in Kentucky!"
And then I got out, dried off, grabbed all those things I had been so terrified would get soaked and went back to my room.
A year ago I would have capitulated to my fear and skipped the swimming completely. A year ago I would have regretted it because yeah...
...it never rained.