Do you know how this feels?

Have you ever seen someone you were attracted to but that voice inside your head told you there was no way they would ever like you back?

You're not alone. This was my story too.

As I've mentioned before, I spent my entire life feeling deeply insecure about my looks and I thought that even if some rare woman were to find me handsome; she would DEFINITELY hate my personality.

So, I walked through life with a lot of things going for me that I couldn't see.

If I noticed a beautiful woman working at a register in a store, I would chose a different line so that I wouldn't disrupt her day with the unfortunate sight of me.

If I felt especially brave, I'd give a woman a sincere compliment but then excuse myself before she had a chance to reply.

Even when a woman showed clear and definite interest, my insecurities were right there to crush that too; convincing me that I must be misreading the signs because no woman could possibly be attracted to me.

Do you know how that feels? Guess what... It's bullsh*t.

I know it FEELS true, but:


When you think of the person or things that you want in your life; you have to decide that you're worth it.

You're worth whatever you imagine is out of your league. You're worth the risk of rejection.
You're worth the courage of doing something you're afraid of.


Your story can have a happy ending (if it doesn't already). It begins the moment you think about what you TRULY want, then look at yourself and say two very simple words:





When you step on that scale and the number makes you smile, I don't even see that number because I'm only counting the beats in my heart.

And my heart beats like crazy every time I look at you!

When you step on that scale and the number makes your frown - I only count the beat. When you're so excited because you ate clean all day - I only count the beats.

When you're feeling guilty about that cheat meal - I only count the beats. When you slide off track so far that you're angry with yourself - I only count the beats.

When you pinch and tug the extra cushion on your belly and feel completely gross about yourself - All I think about is how good it's going to feel spooning up against your amazingly soft curves when we cuddle.

When you rock out hard with your workouts and nutrition and start to slim down, all I think about is how happy I am to see you feeling great!

When you have a perfect day - I love you!

When you have a lousy day - I love you!

When your hair won't sit right and your clothes won't fit right - I love you!

I love you soft, I love you lean. I love you dirty, I love you clean.

No matter how great or small, accomplished are your feats, please remember, darling dear, I only count the beats!






I'm pretty ridiculous sometimes.


Yesterday I had the opportunity to go for a swim at the hotel pool while I'm on a road trip for work.


Of course I had to complicate things.


The sky was an enormous swath of pregnant gray clouds so I sat by the pool with a book, feeling apprehensive about getting in the pool.


I worried that my book, towel and shoes would get wet if it started raining while I was in the pool. I alternated between reading a few sentences and looking longingly at the pool as if something other than my own thoughts was stopping me from enjoying myself.


I LOVE to swim - so the fact that I was throwing away a perfectly good opportunity to do it should give you an idea of how unnecessarily messy I make my life when I start overthinking.


I kept this up for almost an hour while clinging to the fear that a mighty torrential rain would thunder down mercilessly from the heavens as soon as I got in.


Meanwhile, I had already missed an hour that I could have been swimming!


I finally walked over and sat down to put my feet in. The water welcomed me with its perfect temperature and mocked the asinine battle raging in my head.


I looked up at the clouds, then back at the pool and all of a sudden I felt ridiculous.


I actually said out loud: "It'll rain or it won't."


Then I peeled off my shirt without concern for the consequences and slipped soothingly into aquatic bliss. I swam laps and did underwater somersaults and frolicked like a little kid.


I floated face up and stared at that big gray sky and said: "Wow. I'm in a pool in Kentucky!"


And then I got out, dried off, grabbed all those things I had been so terrified would get soaked and went back to my room.


A year ago I would have capitulated to my fear and skipped the swimming completely. A year ago I would have regretted it because yeah...


...it never rained.






Underneath It All

You're so beautiful and you often don't even see it.


Your physique, your hair, your skin, your face, your thighs, your hips, your upper arms, your calves, your fashion; all of it is surface. Maybe you see some beauty there and maybe you don't.


Ultimately it all peels away when you meet and connect with someone. What TRULY makes you beautiful is what's underneath it all. In a great big way that's where we all have things in common: love, compassion, kindness, joy, laughter, sadness and tears.


Underneath it all.


You can't doll it up and make it look sexy to attract a mate from across the room but so what! It's the biggest, most influential and important part of you and it's NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL!


 Please, for me, regardless of the way you feel about your looks today; put your hand on your chest above your heart. Feel your life force beating and remember how beautiful you truly are...


 ...underneath it all.